Olesia Deineka – Lufian®

Lufian Stars

How Chicago Helped Kate Rosecrans Achieve Her Big Dream

By Olesia Deineka May 28, 2021 2225 Post a comment

Everyone has a dream, whether they are young or old. However, even the biggest dreams are sometimes taken for granted. If the door to self-fulfillment was swinging open for anybody to walk through, why wouldn’t they do so? For Katherine Rosecrans, it wasn’t a matter of if, but when and how she would realize her dream. But what if the Lufian Star told you that her “when” happened to be on the first day of the pandemic?

Today, Katherine is a business owner and the president of Define Societies, a marketing and events agency. However, only a year ago, she came from a small town in Minnesota with an ambition to conquer Chicago and start a brand new life without knowing a single local person.

It is still fresh in her mind how her first day was in the new city. It was March of 2020, and she was all alone wandering around the city. The streets were empty. The streets were quiet. Then, for a brief moment, she regretted leaving her hometown.

Everybody wonders what is her secret to founding a successful company from scratch. What are some of the most powerful inspiration sources for a big-city entrepreneur these days? Lufian has an insider’s view of Katherine Rosecrans’ success story from her Chicago apartment with views of the city’s skyline and Lake Michigan.

What has been your recent challenge that has changed your life?

Growing up and coming from Edina, MN, a close suburb of Minneapolis, moving to Chicago in March of 2020, I was starting a new life in a closed city, alone. For my business, health and wellness events were the force that drove our mission. I think all business owners were given the opportunity when faced with the challenges of 2020 to re-brand and re-build. While the year was nothing short of horrible, I also saw it as an opportunity to pursue avenues that I may not have pre-pandemic. I began focusing more on the creative aspects; web design, content, and truly building brands as brands were needing to be re-built.

Navigating not only a new market in the city of Chicago but also needing to operate with many more avenues in order to succeed and hopefully return to event life. To me, this ended up being the best decision of my professional life. Define has established relationships with some great up-and-coming restaurants and venues in their branding, event activation and design.

What projects are you working on now? I know you were considering opening a restaurant. How did you come up with the idea for your business?

Currently, Define and its team are creatively driving and branding some beautiful new and old spaces in the Chicagoland area. These include:

The Summer Inn of Highland Park

I teamed up with restauranteur Adolfo Garcia in the creative branding as well as the interior design. This restaurant is one of many of Adolfo’s visions and will be an American bungalow on the coast eatery with a high-end design and an expansive outdoor patio. Define Societies is exclusively taking over private dining, events, and health and wellness events for The Summer Inn moving forward.

Thesummerinn.com

Diver at the Park, Wrigley – Currently Define manages Diver River North in their marketing and events while this beautiful Tulum eatery in the River North neighborhood is one to remember this space is expanding to a second massive location in Wrigleyville. The location in Wrigley will include a basement speakeasy known as DOT, which is a space to pay tribute to women in sports with a twist of tropical decor as well as an incredible, expansive patio and rooftop just a block from Wrigley Stadium. Tulum meets Wrigley.

The Rooftop at the Diver Wrigley will be exclusively Define Societies for private events, dining, and monthly health and wellness events featuring our incredible instructors, eats, and of course, champagne.

Diveratheparkchi.com

Alongside planning and navigating our new covid protocols when it comes to events, Define will continue to plan their health and wellness events and classes with trendy hotels in the area as well as adding a new restaurant space to our portfolio in which is still, a secret. This secret project will be multi-level and located in the heart of the River North. Define will be working alongside restaurateur, Adolfo Garcia on this as well. Define will also exclusively manage all marketing and events at this project as well.

How do you define success?

It’s safe to say I’ve always disliked this question. Essentially, something is a success when the outcome turns out well, is desirable, or is favorable. Beyond that, the definition of success is personal. For me, success is waking up every day and looking around you, and seeing gratitude in the smallest pieces of life. This is something I couldn’t do just a year ago. Can I thank Covid – the time we had to be thankful; the time we had to heal and grow from things many of us had ignored with our busy schedules?

I truly believe it’s taking a walk and stopping to quite literally take it in, drink your coffee and inside feel gratitude… the small stuff. I don’t think success is about being happy all the time or being perfect in any way, because, let’s be honest, this is life. Nothing in life is perfect.

If you can wake up and look around you at the life you’ve built with growth and gratitude, you’ve won.

- Katherine Rosecrans -

What are the main principles you follow to build a successful life?

Growth.

Gratitude.

Accountability.

If you were to write a book about yourself, how would you call it?

This is a difficult one. Over the past few years, I think my private and business life has changed so much. I could have never imagined being in the space that I am with the people that I am and creating this brand that is continuously re-shaping and growing. It’s this never-ending process of progress.

It’s erasing, re-writing, re-defining, erasing again until you mold this THING that’s beautiful and for you, perfectly imperfect.

Let’s name this book, the process of progress.

The road to success does not come easily or instantly. In return, if you love what you do, you experience fulfillment and balance in your life, allowing you to achieve greater goals.

Remember that every successful person has overcome failures and difficulties to finally realize prosperity and ultimate success. This is a truth that helps brighten your outlook on life and gives you hope for the future.

Andrii Ivanchenko

Photography Author

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Lifestyle & Success

Forever young and inevitably old: How your body regenerates itself

By Olesia Deineka January 16, 2021 2538

Know yourself, love yourself, be honest with yourself – these old truths have been celebrated for years by artists, musicians and philosophers, from Jean-Paul Sartre to Bob Dylan. But how do you know yourself if you are constantly changing?

There’s a theory that the human body is completely renewed every seven years. That is, at the end of this period you become a different person, because every cell of your body is replaced by a new one. Well, it sounds awesome! But is this really so and why do we, despite the change, continue to grow old?

The New York Public Library’s scholarly reference (Stonesong Press, 1995) notes that the human body “contains between 50 and 75 trillion cells… Each type of cell has its own lifespan. And when a person dies, it might take several hours or days for all the body cells to die.”
However, the idea that the human body replaces itself at the cellular level every seven years is wrong. This is a complete myth. Let’s figure out why?

The truth about human cells

New cells in our body are created in two ways:

The existing mother cells divide into two daughter cells during mitosis;
New cells are created from stem cells that are present in the body in small quantities. A feature of stem cells is their ability not only to create copies of themselves through mitosis but also to produce special nerve cells and blood cells that are unable to reproduce their copies.

The development of new cells simultaneously causes the death of old cells, which gradually age and die.

Only certain parts of the body are regenerated within 11 months. Several types of cells are constantly being replaced, but there are also a handful of them that never respawn. Yes, you might live the majority of your life with some of the cells you were born with! For example, some nerve cells and eye lenses are not involved in cell turnover.

The lifespan of our cells

Our body contains many types of cells that perform different functions and have different lifespans. Since some organs are subject to more rapid “wear-and-tear”, the cells of such organs are replaced faster than in other tissues. It is evident that the replacement of different types of cells at different times, due to the unequal duration of their life, cannot simultaneously renew our entire organism.

Skin: The epidermis undergoes a fair amount of wear and tear as it acts as the body’s outer protective layer. These skin cells are renewed every two to four weeks.
Hair: natural body hair has a lifespan of about 6 years for women and 3 years for men.
Liver: The liver cleanses the human body by removing a wide range of pollutants from our systems. It promotes a constant blood supply and remains immune to damage from these pollutants and toxins, renewing its cells every 150-500 days.
Stomach and intestines: The cells lining the surface of the stomach and intestines live short and complex lives. Constantly exposed to caustic stomach acids, they usually live only 5 days, no more.
Bones: The cells of the skeletal system regenerate almost constantly, but the whole process takes up to 10 years. The renewal process slows down as we age, so our bones become thinner.

Now, what about the cells of our brain? For a long time, scientists believed that nerve cells cannot be renewed. But in the past decade, the scientific community has recognized the formation of new neurons in adults.

There is a hypothesis that the microenvironment in a certain area of the hippocampus has specific factors necessary for the division of neuronal precursor cells, as well as for the differentiation and integration of newly formed neurons.

In addition, our tooth enamel is never replaced, and the lenses of our eyes are also with us for life.

So, statements about a “new” body every seven years have no scientific basis. Yes, our bodies do regenerate but in separate cells and organs.

“Where do ideas about new bodies every 7 years come from then?”

In the early 50s, scientists discovered the power of body rejuvenation by introducing radioactive atoms into objects and observing their movements. They found that, on average, 98% of the atoms in the body – the small particles of matter that form the molecules and cells of the body – are replaced every year. Most of the new atoms are accepted along with the air we breathe, the food we eat, and the liquid we drink.

Fifty years later, Swedish molecular biologist Jonas Frisen studied the renewal of body tissues by measuring the level of a radioactive material, Carbon-14. This material was thrown into the air before overhead nuclear weapons tests were banned in 1963. Carbon-14 is a part of our DNA. But unlike other atoms and molecules that are constantly changing, a person’s DNA remains unchanged from the moment a cell is born – which happens when parent cells divide – until the end of its life. When a cell divides, in other words, the DNA that is introduced into new cells contains a certain level of Carbon-14, which corresponds to the level of this substance in the air around us at that time. Thus, this substance can be considered some kind of timestamp by which scientists can determine when the cell was created.

Friesen found that cells in the body mostly replace themselves every 7-10 years. In other words, old cells die and are replaced with new ones during this period of time. Cell renewal is faster in some parts of the body, but a complete rejuvenation from toes to head takes about ten years.

This explains why our skin’s scales fall off, our nails grow and our hair falls out. But if we are constantly filling with new cells, why does the body age? Shouldn’t the new cells act like a botox shot? When it comes to aging, it turns out that the secret is not in our cells, but in cellular DNA.

Can we be forever young?

Despite all this constant regeneration, people who want to live forever should not stop looking for the source of youth. The point is that we keep getting old and gradually die. Friesen and others believe it may be due to DNA mutations that get worse, moving on to new cells over time.

There are also a number of cells that never leave us and can contribute to the aging process, or, at least, the decay of the body over time. Although the cornea of the eye can heal in just one day, the lens and other areas of the eye do not change. It’s the same with the neurons in the cerebral cortex – the outer layer of the brain that is responsible for memory, thinking, language, attention and consciousness – they stay with us from birth to death. Since they are not replaced, the loss of these cells leads to serious ailments. The good news is that other areas of the brain, the olfactory bulb, which is responsible for smell, and the hippocampus, which is responsible for learning, can and do renew themselves.

However, with age, the body’s ability to regenerate decreases, and an effective way to prevent aging and death has not yet been found. Geneticists believe that the cause of aging is hidden in the cellular DNA, or rather, in its terminal regions – telomeres. There are several theories of aging, as well as a number of factors that influence this process.

Scientists continue to study the changes in the human body, the causes of aging and methods to prevent this process. Perhaps one day they will be able to give the world a revolutionary discovery, thanks to which human immortality will become a reality.

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Lifestyle & Success

Meditation: 5 Easy Steps to Start Your Mindfulness Journey

By Olesia Deineka July 6, 2020 2390

Due to global pandemic and current social unrest in the US, meditation is more popular than ever. In any bookstore, you will find a couple of shelves with publications on the theory and various techniques of meditation. In yoga studios, separate classes are held for those who want to learn “the art of awareness.” There are dozens of mindfulness apps for your phone for relaxation and stress management.

However, not everyone decides to meditate. The word “meditation” a lot of us associate with the image of a person frozen for several hours in an uncomfortable position. There is still a myth that meditation requires certain character traits, such as discipline and calmness. There are those who are sure that meditation is time-consuming or requires getting up at dawn and leading an ascetic lifestyle.

Let’s agree that these stereotypes (and all stereotypes in general) limit our willingness to try new things. Perhaps, they even made the desire to sit down and actually try it go away. It forces one to distrust those who claim that meditation has helped them improve their relationship with their family and friends, quit smoking or reduce stress.

These scientific findings confirm that meditation makes us better in different ways:

A study by psychology professors at Northeastern University has shown that meditation makes us kinder and more compassionate. It helps us more easily give up comfort in order to alleviate the suffering of strangers;
Meta-analysts at Johns Hopkins University have proven that meditation fights stress and depression as effective as antidepressants;
In addition, mindfulness practices reduce suffering and pain;
Scientists from Leiden University have proven that meditation makes us more creative. It also improves your imagination and helps to concentrate and stay attentive.

To feel these beneficial effects, let’s figure out how to start your meditation journey.

Types of Meditation and Steps to Help You Get Started

STEP 1. Choose the type of meditation suitable for you. Mira Dessy, a meditation author and holistic nutritionist defines the right meditation for you: “It’s what feels comfortable and what you feel encouraged to practice.” There are six common ways to meditate and none of them involves sitting in the lotus position for several hours.

For the first five, take a comfortable pose. You can sit in Sukhasana (cross-legged pose) or Vajrasana (heel-pose.) Or you can just sit on a chair. It is better not to lay down as you might fall asleep.

Focused Meditation

Who should try it: beginners or anyone in need of extra help with focusing.

In this technique, you concentrate on any of the five senses of your body, like visualizations or sensations. During this type of meditation, you will be asked to focus on your breathing which will help you to relax and clear your headspace.

Mantra

Who should try it: those who feel uncomfortable in silence and find peace in repetition.

To put it simply, a mantra is a short analog of prayer in the form of a “sacred” text, word or syllable. In fact, chanting a mantra is a great stress relief and positively affects your mental health, according to the study. It’s easy to practice this type of meditation: choose the mantra you like the one you like and repeat it to yourself. You can use “Aum” onomatopoeia, inspirational phrase of any type or sing along to some popular mantras.

Spiritual Meditation or Prayer

Who should try it: individuals who enjoy in silence and look for spiritual growth.

Yes, praying could also be a sort of meditation. These practices are popular in Hinduism and Daoism, as well as Christianity. However, you don’t necessarily need to be religious to pray. For example, you could think about what you value most in your life. These may be material things, relationships, special feelings or memories. Express your gratitude for what you have.

Mindfulness

Who should try it: Anyone who doesn’t have much time for a longer meditation.

Mindfulness is an ongoing lifelong process of accepting all that arises without judgment. As a meditation, it’s the freest practice that originates from Buddhism and teaches the meditating individual to comprehend and release stress at the moment. Use it in everyday activities, for example, when washing dishes, drinking tea or making breakfast. Immerse yourself in the process and think about what you are doing.

STEP 2. According to Andy Puddicombe, creator of the popular app Headspace, you need to relax and feel comfortable. Therefore, do not hesitate to put a pillow under your back or take cover with a blanket.

STEP 3. Be flexible and willing to change practices, as according to research, diverse meditation techniques develop our brains in different ways. You can meditate anywhere, anytime: in a favorite chair with a cat on his lap, in the subway under the sound of wheels, in the early morning at the beach or sitting in bed before going to bed.

STEP 4. If you want to achieve results by doing any activity you need to be consistent. Acclaimed yoga and meditation instructor Ashley Turner underlines that meditation needs to be practiced daily. One minute a day is real, you can always find it, be it right after you have just woken up or in the evening before going to sleep.

STEP 5. Do not expect results. Expectations carry us into the future and prevent us from concentrating. The purpose of meditation is to bring us to the present moment and help us feel life here and now.

One cannot be too busy to meditate. An old Zen saying suggests, “You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day — unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.” Thus, in days when you are unable to find yourself even a couple of minutes to relax, maybe you need meditation more than ever.

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Boost Brainpower

Intelligent in Different Ways: IQ, EQ and, so important nowadays, VQ – the Vitality Quotient

By Olesia Deineka May 7, 2020 3572

Why are some people capable of taking challenges head-on while others are not? Why hardships motivate some to pave their way to success but drive others into depression? For years, it was thought that the main reason is simply a different level of intelligence.

But the richest and most influential people are far from the smartest. The key component for success, according to the study, is not the level of intelligence, familiar to us as IQ, but emotional intelligence – EQ (emotional quotient.) This concept means an ability to understand and control emotions, as well as be able to understand other people and their feelings.

Is Emotional Intelligence The Only Key To Success?

EQ was introduced by psychologist Lindsay Gardner in the 90s, but after studying it over the past quarter of a century, scientists have not been able to determine its clear criteria, as was done with IQ.

Nevertheless, some signs do indicate a high level of emotional intelligence:

A vast “emotional vocabulary” – that is, the ability to understand your experiences and describe them;
A lively interest in people, curiosity and empathy – the ability to put yourself in other people’s place;
Openness to change and the ability to adapt to various circumstances;
The ability to effortlessly “say no” to yourself and people, which indicates self-control and self-esteem;
A desire to share with people new knowledge, unexpected gifts, without expecting anything in return;
Gratitude for what you have right now.

There are other features of an emotionally intelligent individual, for example, a habit to observe a work-leisure balance, including having adequate sleep at night, as it improves the intellectual and emotional state.

As you know, people can be generally divided into “right-hemispheric” (with enhanced imaginative thinking, creativity and emotional intelligence) and “left-hemispheric” (goal-oriented and logical thinkers.) It turned out that individuals, whose right hemisphere is more developed, are more likely to get well with people, be flexible and, therefore, become successful.

Why Your Energy Level Matters

However, Paul George Claudel in his book «The Project To Live,» draws attention to another important success factor – VQ (vitality quotient,) which measures how energized a person is: mentally, spiritually and physically. The author believes that the very concept of VQ – the coefficient of vital energy – is the ability to change, inspire and lead.

Photo by **Andrea Piacquadio** from **Pexels**

Indeed, people who are unable to control and replenish their energy are not able to achieve high results simply because they are tired. Worn-out leaders might become the catalyzers of professional burnout within their teams, as they fail to provide necessary support and motivation for their employees. Moreover, not only in business but in personal life, VQ is worth paying attention to. Especially at this time, where self-realization comes to the fore during self-preservation.

The quarantine has put the world on pause: industries froze in anticipation, like train cars on a siding. This period gives you a chance to think about life energy – a key resource to your well-being and productivity, as it determines how quickly you complete tasks and how you affect other people.

Ways to Optimize Your Energy

Patricia Goldfrey, American psychologist and integrative coach, offers these simple tips to replenish your energy:

Learn to say “no”

Constantly agreeing to help others when you don’t want to, results in losing your energy by giving it to other people. Luckily, American psychologist, Ellen Hendrickson, has come up with these guilt-free ways for a smooth refusal:

Offer an alternative;
Explain your inaccessibility by something specific: your schedule or other responsibilities, or feeling unwell;
Turn “saying no” into a compliment (e.g. “No, but thank you for thinking about me”.)

Control the surrounding sounds

Unwanted noise can absorb tons of energy. An easy way to quickly change your mood is to create your invigorating playlist or take on the earplugs (depends on a situation.)

Get rid of unnecessary things

According to Trisha, in nine out of ten cases, even quick cleaning up significantly helps to recharge. If you want to free up space in your house or apartment and make it cozier here are some ideas:

Throw away old books and magazines;
Get rid of unnecessary documents, such as old paid bills;
Wipe off dust;
Throw away other useless or worthless things;
Decorate your room with photos of your happy moments.

Despite the importance of your energy, developing IQ and EQ is also essential, as the presence of energy with a lack of mind can have undesirable consequences. Even the brilliant commander, Napoleon once said: “People with high intelligence and powerful energy become generals, but the ones with an excess of energy and no mind are no good to the society.” Then, probably, it’s not a good idea to avoid gaining new knowledge if you’ve decided to become successful!

The levels of IQ, EQ and VQ are innate properties. However, by setting a specific goal, it’s possible to develop each of those quotients within yourself. By understanding yourself and stimulating your multilateral thinking, you can become a well-rounded person and reach your potential. It is also important to do what you love, as it will increase your intelligence and vitality without trying too hard.

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Lifestyle & Success

“Hear” Your Laziness: Boost Productivity During Self-Isolation

By Olesia Deineka May 1, 2020 1963

Always busy running errands even during the quarantine? Leading such a bustling lifestyle in the constantly changing and unpredictable world can be exhausting. Thus, chances are you’re familiar with the dampening sensation of laziness. It may occur suddenly or when you expect it; it may concern a task that needs to be done or an activity that seems to be desirable, like making a good meal. In this article, we will look behind the facade of a phenomenon called “laziness” and try to understand what is hidden behind it and why it prevents you from moving in a vigorous march toward your goals.

None of us has ever experienced living during the global pandemic of a new virus. Constantly staying in and not being able to visit your family or places is a huge load on the psyche. The brain processes it, and it may not have a resource for new knowledge.

So even now, how to do your best and actually focus on work? Let’s find out.

What Is Laziness: a Bad Habit, Lack Of Discipline Or…?

There are different points of view on this matter. You surely are familiar with the negative one, where the laziness is seen as a manifestation of weakness. However, there is a positive attitude toward indolence. For example, in positive psychotherapy, developed by Nossrat Peseschkian, it’s “the ability not to do too much” and is perceived as a totally normal state of the human body and mind.

Basically, what we call laziness, is a signal coming from our psyche, carrying a message that we’re not willing to perform a certain activity. There are different causes of it, however. Thus, our task is to “unravel” the message of the idleness and take appropriate measures.

Photo by **Ekaterina Bolovtsova** from **Pexels**

The Root Cause

According to modern psychology, there’s only one reason for laziness – the mismatch of our intentions, goals, objectives, aspirations, to our true needs. When our behavior is consistent with physical AND mental necessities, we don’t have any problems finishing that report or reading those emails: there’s no laziness, boredom, procrastination or any other forms of detachment and attempts to postpone the inevitable. We simply do what we have in mind. It is really easy. There is a well-known saying that proves it: “The most motivated person is the one who wants to use the bathroom.” We must agree that it is difficult to imagine someone like that being lazy.

The Intrapersonal Conflict

According to Noah Chomsky’s doctrine on dominance, for every person, only one need is relevant at a time, and all human behavior is subordinated to its satisfaction. If during this time a person sets an objective that is not consistent with the urgent need, the “center of dominance” in the cerebral cortex slows down the implementation of the task. Usually, in the form of laziness. In modern psychology, such a situation is called an intrapersonal conflict, the incompatibility of “wants” and “needs.” Hence, laziness is a form of resistance of your body, which signals that you need to stop and rethink your priorities.

Overcoming Laziness Through Working With Your Needs

Self-reflection is always difficult and purely individual. However, a number of general recommendations will help to resolve the intrapersonal conflict and free up useful energy for reaching your goals.

Step 1: Listen to yourself

Often taking this step is enough to reduce stress and start catching up on with your daily plan. Instead of updating your social media feed, try to take a short pause and ask yourself the question: “What do I need now?”
It can be difficult to answer the question, and there’s no need to rush. It is important to develop the habit of being attentive to your inner world, and sooner or later you will be able to reflect on your true needs. Notably, the purpose of asking this question is to take control of your laziness, so you will consciously decide when to work and when to rest.

Step 2: Acceptance

Instead of self-flagellation or attempts to “force” yourself, try to listen to your body and respond correctly. When you realize your true actual need, you will have to make a choice: satisfy or ignore it. It is important to decide responsibly: you must fully consider the consequences of your choice. Remember the following:

According to the 2019 study of The American Institute of Stress, disregarding your needs can lead to stress, anxiety and fatigue.
By immediately making a choice in favor of satisfying your need, however, you might encounter a number of other consequences (like letting down your colleagues by not doing what you were asked for.)

In general, the practice of conscious and responsible choice will save you not only from laziness but also from many other problems that give rise to intrapersonal conflicts.

Step 3: Applying adequate techniques

After you understand your needs and make a responsible choice, deal with it. To put it simply, three types of laziness can be distinguished: “I don’t want,” “I can’t” and “I don’t believe I can.”

The “I don’t want” type occurs when a task doesn’t really look attractive to us (it is uninteresting for our Inner Child, we have no sincere desire to do this.) This option is frequent because nowadays our lifestyle is full of responsibilities we must commit to.

The “I can’t” arises when we don’t have enough physical or mental resources for doing something (for example, we are tired, hungry or too excited.) Such laziness comes for telling us there is no “fuel” for this activity now. It’s like when you found a course you really want to take, but after a busy day, you don’t have the right amount of energy to concentrate on new information.
The “I don’t believe I can” laziness happens when we set incredibly high standards for ourselves (to do something without mistakes or better than everyone.) And then the so-called “perfectionist paralysis” arises, because the requirements are so impossible to accomplish that it’s easier to do nothing at all than to start and experience failure.

For the option “I don’t want”:

Delegate the task to someone else;
Increase its attractiveness (e.g. reward yourself for the accomplishment);
Switch to an alternative (select an activity from your to-do list that you want to start right now, like “I don’t want to write an article, but I’m ready to do the cleaning”);
Find a meaning (justify the usefulness of this piece of work and how it will allow you to be proud of yourself, look attractive in the eyes of others, etc.)

For the option “I can’t”:

Find out what kind of resource are you currently lacking (strength, clarity of mind, patience, etc.) and how it can be replenished (right now you don’t feel like reading this email but after a cup of coffee, you’ll be ready);
Postpone your deadline, take some rest and get down to work later.

For the option “I don’t believe I can’t”:

Rethink the desired result – make it down-to-earth and realistic;
Solve the problem “in pieces”. Instead of aiming to finish a paper in a week, offer yourself to write an introduction today, the first chapter – tomorrow, and so on.

Photo by **Prateek Katyal** from **Pexels**

And a Universal Tip

The Five-Second Rule

Whenever you feel unsure about completing a task, count from 5 to 1. According to Mel Robbins, such a tool will help you concentrate on a certain goal and get rid of anxiety, hesitation or negative thoughts.

Nowadays, social media make us think that every person during quarantine needs to get up at 5:00 a.m., then do yoga, prepare a healthy breakfast and devote the rest of the day to watching webinars and reading books. But that’s just social media. What do YOU want? In the end, laziness is not your enemy, but a great opportunity to actually listen to your desires. Maybe you don’t really need that second job you’ve been thinking about. Maybe it’s time to start pursuing your passion, even when no one understands it or if it sounds crazy. By doing what you truly love, you might eventually boost your productivity without reading a million advice and trying too hard.

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Lifestyle & Success

How to Be Heard and Understood: a Guide On Expressing Your Feelings In a Right Way

By Olesia Deineka March 29, 2020 2001

“We speak different languages!” – that’s a phrase you’ve probably said to your partner or family members at least once in a lifetime. Sometimes two people simply cannot find a common ground, and their dialogues are reminiscent of a blind talking with a deaf. Without mutual understanding, people become more distant from each other, and that leads to frequent arguments, or worse – total detachment.

Nowadays, due to the quarantine, we stay side by side with our loved ones around the clock. And this is not always easy. However, to keep your relationships alive, be it with a parent, or a romantic partner, you need to express your feelings. Even if you feel your thoughts are too tangled and too complicated to share. Even if you’re offended, disappointed or angry. Even when there’s an unresolved conflict you don’t want to go back to.

Thus, in order to make your relationships with a close person thrive, follow these simple steps to bring the deepest thought into conversation.

A “soft start”

A psychologist John Gottman found that the conversation most often ends with the same emotion it begins. If you rush into saying harsh words to your loved one – you actually leave them even more lonely.

Gottman offers a crucial concept: a soft start to the conversation. It means avoiding criticism, derogatory remarks, sarcasm, accusations, generalizations (you never … you always …) and the transition to the individual. Also, a soft start, in particular, is talking about yourself and your feelings. For example, instead of saying “It’s nonsense”, answer “No, I don’t agree.”

Support yourself

In nonviolent communication practice, there is an algorithm for circumventing your “difficult” feelings. The basis of this algorithm is self-empathy, meaning recognizing and naming your feelings, unmet needs and self-compassion. Magically, when we say, “I’m in grief now,” our pain becomes bearable. Check it out for yourself!

Imagine that your beloved friend is in a critical situation. You would try to understand and sympathize with her/him, right? That’s exactly what you need to do for youreself, especially when you feel low.

“So, what exactly needs to be done?”

Become aware of your current body sensations (for example, chest tightness);
Ask yourself what you’re feeling right now;
Decide what is important for you (in life AND in relationships) and identify which your needs might be unsatisfied;
Think about the requests you have to yourself or others.

Let’s say, you’re telling an exciting story to your spouse, and he/she is not actively paying attention to you and instead is scrolling his social medium’s feed.

What might be going on in your body? Rapid breathing or tension-type headache.

What do you feel? Irritation, anger.

What need is not met now? Having your spouse’s attention.

What is important to you? Your husband’s/ wife’s involvement and response.

What request do you have for the partner? Looking at you when you say something.

Such self-reflection allows you to express your feelings in a more gentle way. Also, when we just allow ourselves to cool for a few seconds, the tension noticeably weakens.

Remember the two main goals

What are the goals of a frank conversation about relationships? Psychologists do not recommend doing the following:

splash out the accumulated irritation;
hurt a partner;
prove yourself.

Then, what should be considered the right purpose of a conversation? Here are the two main goals, according to Gottman:

tell how you perceive and feel the current situation;
understand how your partner feels and perceives it.

Actually, there’s even a third goal, which is not always achievable, though. It is to agree on how to prevent such situations in the future. How to deal with contradictions in views, habits or desires. That is, come to a decision.

Alas, not all life situations can be predicted. Therefore, the third goal of the conversation, although attractive, is optional. If two main goals have been achieved, such a conversation will be healing.

Do not forget a simple wisdom: “Communication is the key.” Talk about your feelings! And listen, listen to yourself and others. This is the best way to get closer to people and the best way to understand what’s happening to you or your loved ones.

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Travel

5 Ways to See the World Without Getting Up Off the Couch

By Olesia Deineka March 27, 2020 1718

March 2020 social distancing will be added to history textbooks throughout the globe. But while humanity is adjusting to this new way of life, and even though there is a pervasive fear of travel, many of us still have that insatiable desire to travel. Luckily, virtual tours provide you the opportunity to see the world for free at any time. Imagine seeing an underwater world or even the top of an Icelandic waterfall without ever even leaving your couch. Online journeys allow us to admire the earthly beauty of distant locations or even have the out of this world experience of viewing our planet from space!

Have a look through our selection of virtual tour services, which will help tackle the self-isolation.

Virtual Museums

Nowadays, the top world cultural centers offer a new option of visiting them online. Traveling without leaving your home, seeing the world cultural heritage in good quality – all this is easy, affordable and free. From anywhere in the world you can travel through the halls, see the expositions of the most interesting cultural and scientific centers of the world.

For instance, Google united all museums, large galleries, exhibition centers into a global network in its Art Project. The main feature of it is elaborate detalization. You can thoroughly look at every stroke of the world’s best paintings.

Here’s the list of the most prominent museums:

The Acropolis Museum;
The Tretyakov Gallery;
The Uffizi Gallery;
The Van Gogh Museum;
The Metropolitan Museum of Art;
The National Museum of Korea;
The Musée d’Orsay;
360cities.net.

The source shows us the world in detailed panoramas. You can walk around London, climb the top of Everest and even discover African tribes. Any destination on your travel bucket list is reachable, as this type of virtual journey is fast and free. In some pictures, the resolution is so high that you can see the faces of people in the windows of houses. Maybe you will notice yourself somewhere?

International Space Station Broadcast

You can even visit outer space! The ISS has cameras broadcasting everything that happens above us. Who knows what we can notice there! The service is live 24/7, so you will always be up to date with the latest news from the orbit.

Live Videos

If looking out of the ISS porthole seems like not your thing, you can take a virtual tour to a more “down to earth” location. How about hanging out with the pandas at the Atlanta Zoo?

Earthcam.com has a huge collection of webcams around the world – from New York to Bangkok. A great opportunity to follow the change of timezones.

Vimeo

Slow-motion can make miracles! You will surely understand it if you visit vimeo.com. Thousands of video collections of all the most divine and mysterious corners of our planet will give you the necessary dose of daily inspiration.

Here’s the list of top Vimeo travel bloggers:

Joerg Daiber
Mathieu Le Lay
Vincent Urban
Redha Medjellekh
Jiro Bosma

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Lifestyle & Success

Steer Clear of Boredom: 10 Things to Do During Quarantine

By Olesia Deineka March 19, 2020 2146

The worldwide pandemic is definitely not bringing a positive impact, and a lot of people are bored staying isolated or #stuckathome. But it’s not a reason to lay on a couch all day long, being upset there’s nothing to do. The quarantine can be turned into something you always wanted – a time of self-isolation as a time for self-evaluation. What is that that you never had time for? And now when you LITERALLY can’t come up with such an excuse as no time, you can spend the quarantine differently. Like fun. Or in a new way.

1. Have a Skype party with friends

This social gathering format came from China. It’s easy to arrange: make a group call on Skype, turn on your favorite music and dance in front of your smartphones or laptops. The main bonus is that when you get tired of dancing, you don’t have to spend money on a taxi. And yes, and you can come to the party even in pajamas.

2. Visit online museum

Fortunately, in the era of the Internet, you can visit the greatest museums in the world without leaving your home. Here are just a few options:

The Louvre Museum offers a 360-degree panorama, so you can take a close look at the rare artifacts around. If you click on the exhibits, you can get additional information about their history.

On the website of The National Gallery of Art, one of the best collections of Italian Renaissance paintings in the world, you can access works of Dutch and Spanish Baroque.

Google Arts & Culture works with more than 60 museums and galleries from around the world. Using Google Street View technology, a visitor can explore the collections of, for example, the White House in the US, the Museum of Islamic Art in Qatar and even the São Paulo Museum of Street Art in Brazil.

3. Read a book

Reading is a peculiar form of relaxation, which helps to deal with stress and bad mood. You probably have planned to read some books that your friends recommended but haven’t been able to fit it in your schedule before. Well, now it’s the perfect chance to catch up on them! In case if you run out of ideas on what to read, enjoy these top books on self-improvement:

- Whatcha Gonna Do with That Duck? And Other Provocations by Seth Godin;
- Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets by Nassim Nicholas Taleb;
- The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene;
- The Attention Revolution: Unlocking the Power of the Focused Mind by Alan Wallace;
- Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation by Daniel J. Siegel;
- Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns.

4. “Visit” opera/theater

The Vienna Opera (like other Austrian theaters) canceled all its performances until April 2. Instead, it will broadcast daily recordings of opera and ballet performances through the platform. Streams will begin at 5:00 CET and will remain available for 24 hours.

Moreover, the Bavarian State Opera will make available six live broadcasts of the 2019/2020 season, including the Snow Queen Hans Abrahamsen, Judith Bela Bartok directed by Katie Mitchell, as well as the world premiere of a video art project by Marina Abramovich The Seven Deaths of Maria Callas.

If you spend a lot of time on Instagram, diversify your feed and subscribe to Theather without Theather. In its daily posts, you can see artists reading poetry, performing drama pieces, dancing, singing and many more!

5. Workout

Don’t rush into buying a treadmill. There are tons of free tutorials on Youtube from relaxing yoga to exhausting Tabata training. Lufian recommends the following channels for at-home workouts:

Blogilates;
The Fitness Marshall;
HASfit;
Leslie Sansone’s Walk at Home;
Tone It Up;
jessicasmithtv;
Fitness Blender.

6. Learn a foreign language

Quarantine is not a hindrance to exploring a different language. It is enough to register for free at Duolingo, subscribe to native speakers on Youtube or watch the series in the original with subtitles. If you seek a different language learning experience, we suggest these platforms:

Live Mocha (interaction with native speakers);

LingQ.com (the basics);

Lang 8 (native speakers correcting your writing);

Papora (grammar and vocabulary);

Memrise (flashcards).

7. Start journaling

It’s the best time to reflect on the past, define your goals for the rest of the year or simply put on paper what are you currently thinking about. According to a book by a social psychologist, James Pennebaker, expressive writing improves health, alleviates emotional pain and boosts productivity.

What things bring joy to your life? Where do you see yourself in ten years? What decisions can lead you to make your biggest dream come true? These are some questions you can ask yourself and then write down everything that is on your mind. Don’t worry about picking the right words! Not everything you write down has to be beautiful or poetic. If you feel like it, express your emotions through drawing or making sketches in your notebook.

8. Watch a movie together

Wanted to watch a movie with friends but self-isolation has interfered with your plans? Not a problem! Netflix Party, an extension for the Chrome browser, allows Netflix users to chat and watch movies together. We made a list of the most intriguing and exciting documentaries available on the platform:

• The Great Hack;

• The Unknown Known;

• The Vietnam War;

• The Mind, Explained;

• Sex, Explained;

• Oceans.

9. Take a course

Leading universities and companies in the world, including the University of London, Yale, Johns Hopkins University, IBM, Google, Intel, have opened access to 3800 courses and 400 specializations at Coursera. They will be available until July 31. You can also take a look at these online education platforms to gain a new skill and expand your knowledge at a topic of your choice for free:

Khan Academy

Open Culture;
Udemy;
Academic Earth;
edX.

10. Help others

During the times of the virus outbreak, there are millions of people who suffer due to various reasons, be it the pandemic, hunger or lack of housing. Thanks to these websites and applications, you can offer a hand by making donations:

• ShareTheMeal (a smartphone app to fight global hunger through the United Nations World Food Programme);

• Charity Miles (donate by achieving your fitness goals);

• Give 2 Charity (converts the time you spend using your phone into donations).